Booty Call Cancellation

damnfunnytexts:

bartimanus:

wontonpoop:

Pretty girls with long hair!! Stop cutting that shit off!! Boys don’t wanna date girls with boys haircuts!! Sorry!!

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(Source: guccigoggles)

phoenix-aflame:

mother-fucking-avengers:

mother-fucking-avengers:

im dying of period cramps on the sofa and i heard someone in the kitchen and assumed it was my mom so i yelled I CAN FEEL MY UTERUS PULSING HELP and my dad came into the room with the most horrified expression on his face

i found this on my bed

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Is the all caps letters a dad thing? Cause i have never seen a dad not do that.

(Source: thehobbutts)

foodchewer:

babies have clear skin why do they cry

likesdinos:

jackmymeat420:

corginator:

jackmymeat420:

drop whatever you’re doing right now and climb a tree

its pitch black outside, and freezing cold. I think ill climb a tree tomorrow

you climb that fuckin tree right now

I’ve literally never seen this post on my dash when it is not after dark and cold as balls. I’m beginning to think this is a conspiracy to get us eaten by some nocturnal tree demon.

(Source: panerasexual)